Graduation

Today I graduated from college. The ceremony itself was nice, somewhat memorable which was good. I sat next to two good friends- S.M. & J.C. who I took many classes with over my years in college. Having my name called was such a blur. I remember a flash of light from the photographer, handing my name-card to the lady announcing the names, shaking a couple of peoples' hands, and receiving a nice pen. My family being as impatient as they are left the building right after they called my name. Maybe thats because all my other older siblings have done this before. Nothing too new.... haha.

4 years....gone by in a relative blink. Sometimes I think that its been a long time- sometimes it feels long. But it does feel like yesterday that I was just a puny freshman moving into my dorm. I've made amazing friends-plenty of them- and they are all great amazing people. I've had so much fun with them over the past few years. I am sort of lost without the idea that I will return back to my school in the fall. You sort of come into routines and start thinking you will go back every year. Unfortunately thats not the case for me. Time for some changes, new school apps, new decisions.

I've learned a lot in college. About psychology, journalism, art, and most of all, I've learned a lot about myself and of life. Yet the learning never ends. My grandma told me that this is just the beginning- there is so much more to learn. And I know she is right. I've been very blessed to have been able to learn all the things I've learned.

I've dealt with some big issues in life, and I continue (obviously) to deal with such issues...friends, family, school, jobs, sexuality. The illusion that I have of others is that since most others dont struggle with sexuality, they dont struggle at all. Or at least all of the struggles they do face are somewhat normal in relation to religion and society. But I know that's an illusion that I have- my way of telling myself that my problems are harder and worse than everyone elses. Perhaps thats a bad way to go about life; but sometimes it just tends to go that way.

Today during a dinner party celebration for my graduation, I took a small break from the crown and came here to my room to just breathe. I wound up crying a bit, thinking about the uncertainty, the confusion, and the sadness yet happiness of this milestone in my life. It should be a happy day, but its hard to be happy with so much swirling around in my head. I got several very nice gifts. From my relatives and I am very thankful for them. My mom wrote a little song & all of them performed it to Abba's 'waterloo' and danced around in our family room. That was great.

College, I am pretty speechless. It was a blur. Very blurry. But I know the good outweighed the bad by far. And thats what matters. I'll rememeber all of the late nights, the dancing, the laughing, the crying. The ungodly amounts of reading and studying. The papers, the roommates, the messes, the drama and the city. I'll cherish it all, because it was great. I'd make a few changes if I could do things over again, but nothing drastic just a thing here and there. So here I am, 4 years later, a graduate. You spend four years trying to pursue knowledge and truth. I am afraid to admit that I have not found 100 percent of either. No one has though. ;) Also note my imperfect use of commas.... I am too tired to care to use them :)

Wee! I Graduated :)