Saturday, August 19, 2006

A Poem

I cried for my life,
Which looks so good,
Yet feels so terrible.

How can it be,
That I am made of such black and white,
When I see a world of grey around me.


I cried for the children I may never have,
For the 'normalcy' that is a fictional ideal,
That I prescribe to,
That I yearn for.

I cried the tears of all others,
Who cannot run away,
from the life they wish so badly to flee.

I cried because I am tired,
And for all the smiles that I have let slip through
The cracks of my depression.

I cower because,
I fear the darkness ahead of me.

And then I laughed.
I laughed because,
How could the world be this fickle?
I laughed because I believe there is no justice,
And because I believe that it is funny,
That we should stop living,
Stop breathing,
Stop seeing.
When we can just be,
With the good and the bad,
The cold and hot,
The black and white.

And I laughed because it is funny.

4 comments:

-L- said...

Wow. That's awesome. I really like it a lot.

I've sort of noticed that poetry does well at expressing things that are hard to convey otherwise. I wrote some poems myself about being gay, but it was one of those metaphorical things that didn't say anything explicitly about being gay and it's been published elsewhere so I can't blog it without risking my anonymity. Oh well.

-L- said...

Ever read a comment you've written and think you sound really egotistical? Well, I'm sure nobody gives a flying flip that I wrote a poem once, but I did want to say your poem here rocks. :-)

kelly miller said...

What drew me to him was the pain in his eyes
Though he was pleasant, he did not oft smile
Of his membership, he said, "I'm not worthy
I am attracted to men -I've strong feelings
Just why am I this way? With feelings so real?"
However, he'd not acted on how he'd feel
He would not violate the law of chastity
For he sought to keep his life in harmony

He spoke for a while we each were in relief
This man showed courage to live within beliefs
For he did not act upon what was in him
I assured him that attraction's not in sin
Whatever the cause of how he now does feel
It does not matter his worthiness was real
He's worthy to serve and enjoy fellowship
He still did belong and with his membership

I told him much more from spirit to spirit
And of every single word, he wanted to hear it
I told him thank you for wanting to be clean
That this attraction was not differently seen
Heterosexuals and homosexuals, too
Have the same requirements that they must do
I gave him assurance and he sat up straighter
Sex is a small part, On Christ we must center

With hope in his eyes, newly detected
Not feeling rejected, next steps were directed
With a recommend, he could simply endure
For during this life, there might not be a cure
God loves his children, we don't know all meanings
And what we now feel may not be as it's seemings
When we're unworthy, may we act to repent
Let's love each other, we're all so different

To you who struggle :

When we've fears we're quick to feel offended
Please recognize that to harm was not intended
We can do things to keep weeds from choking
And when we've faith, great blessings we're invoking
Like anyone else there's lessons in gardening
And things to do to keep soils from hardening
For spiritual nourishment there's things we must do
Like scripture reading, worship, fasting and prayer, too.

The Lord's aware of each current circumstance
Fight the good fight. We can take a stance
We can promote the law of chastity
Whatever our situations here might be
Dear Father, in regards to those who have this struggle
Help them overcome all the thoughts that juggle
We weep for them. We've admiration and respect
Of what we can do to show love, let us detect
by kelly miller
based on words by
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Helping Those Who Struggle With
Same Gender Attraction
Ensign, Oct 2007

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