Today I went to the mall, only to run into my younger brother who is still in high school, with one of his friends. My brother looks up to me in 2 things: my academic achievements and my sense of style (ha, go figure.) Anyways, today he was bragging to his friend saying, 'my brother is so cool, he always looks good..." and his friend said something to the effect that such behavior is either 'gay' or 'stupid' or 'girly' .... I couldnt hear his friend. But then my brother stopped in his tracks and said, "my brother isnt gay, man." And I half frowned, half smiled to myself.
It made me feel sad that my younger bro thinks its a bad thing. But then again, I shouldn't be surprised, he is still in high school, where everything bad is 'gay'. It just reminds me how much I hate that kind of mentality. And it saddens me because I am not close with him, and I don't want him to really be upset, withdrawn or disgusted when he finds out. I've voiced this worry to a lot of my friends and my family, but they all tell me not to worry. What can I do? Try to draw closer to him so when the time comes for me to tell him, he may be less reactive? I dunno.... argh.
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In other news, I got a fantastic massage today, including minty body oils and lotions. And hot stones on my feet and back. It was very awesome. I also bought a pair of Seven A-Pocket jeans for a very good price...ok, just kidding...they were cheap cuz I exchanged them for a pair of jeans that I got for christmas that were too big...hahahaha. What better way to make yourself feel better than to indulge? lol...actually I indulged before I felt bad....so it evens out. :)
4 comments:
I don't think that means your brother thinks being gay is bad. It sounds to me like he felt like his friend was making fun of you. I tell you my younger brother is ok with me being gay. Sure he doesn't tell his friends he has a gay brother. But when he met my boy friend he was fine with it. When people say "Oh that is so gay" I think it is best to call them on it. It is not ok for people to go around saying things like that. And yes looking nice is a gay thing and straight guys should learn from that.
Trying to draw closer wouldn't be a bad idea, regardless of the gay thing. But don't be bummed if he doesn't particularly warm up to you now. Some high school dudes regard attempts to get closer to them by anyone outside their peer group to be kind of weird.
Regarding anonymous' comment that "looking nice is a gay thing," I say: Is NOT! I have no sense of style whatsoever, and I'm as gay as they come. : )
So, when I read everything AFTER the line, my first thought was, "Oh my God. You are SO gay."
I'd agree with "Anonymous." A good way to start a dialogue with your brother is to ask him, the next time this happens, "What does that mean exactly? Can you help me understand what kids mean when they say something is 'gay'?" While you may get what it means and it may seem harmless, it still contributes to negative stereotypes and by calling him on it and talking about, you have an opportunity to open his mind so the next time some kids says that, he can respond by saying something witty or pointed in return.
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