Well I thought I'd post something funny for a change... I realize some of you may be offended by what will follow, but thats whats so great about the blog. I can say what I want and you can get as mad as you want. And its okay. (Actually its not gonna be offensive, just poking fun.)
Okay. So let me slip into my stereotypical gay shoes (Prada of course). And now let me ask some questions about these creatures that I have come to call straight guys.
1. How many times are you going to say "dude" or "man" in a sentence?
2. Why do you still wear carpenter jeans that they (EVERYONE) stopped selling about 3 or 4 years ago?
3. Does it make you feel more macho to get 'double meat' at Chipotle? (An awesome place where they make these huge burritos...fyi.)
4. Tube socks?
5. Socks and sandals!?!?!
6. Do you go to the gym to work out, or do you simply go to strut around with puffed up muscles in front of all of those girls who are perpetually running on the treadmills and on the elliptical machines?
7. Is it that funny when someone burps, farts or goes to the bathroom?
8. Which is better for you? "Tits" or "Ass"? (I personally go with ass because thats what guys have.)
9. Why is everything that is 'stupid' 'dumb' or 'retarded' also called "gay" "homo" or "fag"? I didnt know all gay people were stupid or mentally challenged.
10. Does it really count when you could have hooked up with her but didnt? (In other words, you're all talk).
11. Why the need to get completely belligerent/ violent when you start to drink?
12. Why are you so dirty? (unclean, messy, etc)
13. How can you NOT love Madonna, Mariah Carey, or Shakira? (haha)
14. Do you really have to talk all quiet when you ask me about self care, like what to wear, how to do your hair etc? Is it a secret that you have to get dressed to go out, and that you want to look good?
15. Your penis is NOT that big. (if it is, got proof?)
lol... okay so some will appreciate those questions, and others won't, even amongst the gay community. I hate to be 'stereotypicall gay', but hey...I am only me- neither uber macho nor a queen. Though regardless of sexuality I have some good points on some of them, I think :-P.... well, anyways. I hope you all got a laugh from one or more of my questions.... if anyone has insightful answers to any of thes inquiries, feel free to let me know.
Cheers.
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5 comments:
"7. Is it that funny when someone burps, farts or goes to the bathroom?"
Dude, you don't think it's funny when someone farts?! Man, I don't know what's up with you youngsters...
Oh you! My favorite line: "prada, of course."
Literally chuckled out loud on that one.
Funny list. But let's be honest: straight guys can be so attractive!
I've asked my husband almost all of these questions and haven't gotten any good answers. Maybe someday... (As a side note, I would never allow my husband to wear carpenter jeans. I'm pretty easy going, but I have to draw the line somewhere!)
So if a metrosexual is a straight guy with gay style, what's a gay guy with straight style called?
Dude, I wore carpenter jeans today... but only to do dirty work in...
I [heart] Chipolte!!! I wish I were man enough to get double meat :-(
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