A bucket of laughs...

You Know You're From Washington DC When...

You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too tired to explain where. You don't consider exploding man hole covers to be an unusual occurrence. You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone about its location. When it takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on I-66, 95, 395, 495, 50, 123, 29, or 270, it's a pretty good day. There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, and whether you are coming or going. You pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills, college costs and rent combined. You know that driving through Georgetown, you will hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own. "I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late. "Finding a parking space" actually becomes an appointment on your calendar. (E.g.. 7:00-8:00 Gym, 8:30-9:00PM - find a parking space, 9:00-10:30PM - Dinner reservations.) You've never once been to Wal-Mart and don't even know if there is one. When you say you're going to the mall and you don't mean shopping. You never refer to the 'Metro' as the 'subway'. You elbow tourists out of the way on the Metro escalators to "gently" emind them to WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT. Going to work early means being there by 9:00AM. You don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depended on it just to catch a Metro that will be followed by another in 90 seconds. You call it Targ�t, not Target, and are well aware that the one in Alexandria is just a "tad different". When Washington National Airport is and will always be "WASHINGTON NATIONAL", not "Reagan National". You can tell by people's cars where they live and maybe even what neighborhood. You've claimed that there's nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have the entire nation's capitol to explore. You have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center. You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you. You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you've never see anyone working on it. You know you've crossed into Northern Virginia, without ever seeing a sign, only because your speedometer goes from 60 to 0. You know that Vietnam is no longer in the South Pacific, it's now been re-located to Seven Corners. The few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia. You realize that I-395 is Northern Virginia's version of NASCAR. There is no such thing as North, South, East, or West on the beltway, it's just go "that" way!(Inner circle / outer circle) You go anywhere on the Eastern Shore, Rehoboth, Dewey, Ocean City, Skyline Drive, or the Outer Banks for vacation and everyone you meet is from DC Snow means rain to you Ice on the roads just means that you pay more attention to other cars, but still go 75 mph on the highways You can see the national cathedral from almost anywhere You know at least 2 rowers You know that Georgetown is NOT only a school You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA You know which bridges to cross to get to Maryland or VA You actually know goes on in Dupont circle You can't go to Tysons Mall without seeing someone you know!! You have a few friends who don't know what their parents do...It's Top Secret government work. People don't ask you if Chevy Chase is named after the actor. You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro 50% of your senior class went to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from DC.

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