Tomorrow I start my last semester of college. Wow. 4 years. It really does fly by. Of course I am worried about my future. Not only career-wise, because I havent decided what I am going to do, but regarding being gay as well.
I told myself that I'd probably tell the parents starting sometime this summer. Ha.... I dont know if I can do it. And my other brothers...havent told them yet. I guess my older brother wouldnt freak out too much, a lot of people suspect that its a possibility. BUT, he is ultra-liberal and he isnt religious at all...so that would help I guess... but still he is a guy's guy who loves football and hockey and guns. lol... easier said than done. We'll see about him.
Then there is the issue of my younger brother, who is still in his teens and in high school. Everything bad is 'gay' to him. Worse, I am so not close with him...we fight a lot, and I find myself being mean to him even if he tries to be nice. Sometimes I try to do things to be nice to him, to show him I care. But in our family its understood more than shown. Its hard to repair relationships that are so stuck in one groove.... like water trying to carve through stone, I guess it just takes a long time. I just dont want him to hate me, or think that I am disgusting etc. He'll have to realize a lot of things, and I dont know when the right time to tell him would be.
I'm still confused, still tired. But feeling much better since that last post. Thanks to everyone who has replied to my posts, I appreciate it.
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"BUT, he is ultra-liberal and he isnt religious at all...so that would help I guess... but still he is a guy's guy who loves football and hockey and guns.
If he's a card-carrying ultra-liberal, he should celebrate your announcement that you're gay. If he doesn't, let me know and I'll arrange to have his credentials as a liberal officially revoked.
By the way, a gay guy once invited me to do out on a date -- we went to a hockey game.
"Then there is the issue of my younger brother, who is still in his teens and in high school.?
Don't worry about him too much right now. Your relationship with him will change, become mellower, as you both get older.
"I'm still confused, still tired."
I know. It goes with the territory. You'll get through it.
Last night, I came across a bumper sticker someone gave me. It says: Good's Gonna Happen.
Try to keep that thought in mind.
Dave
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